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slim recliners
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Contemporary+Drapery+Rods+
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green martini glasses
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1click+dvd+copy+crack
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Thinkpad+T60+
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Hooded+Jackets+
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Adidas+Baby+Bootie+
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Harve+Benard+
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Kids+Baseball+Tshirts+
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harbor drive sofa
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destressing+audio+tapes
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Aluminum+Foil+Sheet+Cake+Pan+
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Oak+Fireplace+Mantel+Shelf+
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95+nissan+pickup+parts+canada
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cameras+dc+230
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Western+Digital+Caviar+Se+Wd1600js+160+
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Monogram+Towels+
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Russ+Frames+
Nike+Men's+Workout+(white/dark+Obsidian)+Distance+Singlet+
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Tension+Or+Pressure+Curtain+Rods+
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fine dress
Towel+St+Patricks+
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bleach+drama+cd+02+translation
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eureka+vacuum+mighty+m
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southwestern+sofas
Small+Couch+Furniture+
Gerber+Vinyl+Training+Pants+2pk.+Pink+23t+
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Akademiks+
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Glass+Cocktail+Tables+
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how to grill steaks
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Leather+Couches+
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Stretch+Skinny+Jeans+
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cannon+county+dam
Eagle+Creek+
adidas+sale+girl's+sandals
usb+dvr
playmobil+5778
Simulated+Gemstone+Earrings+
tresor+perfume
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Christian+Fish+
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Fleece+Lined+Slacks+
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comedy+club+in+tampa+fl
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2008+chevrolet+malibu
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martini verona
review+h680
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brown leather recliner
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western+art+musuems
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среда, 10 июня 2009 г.
пятница, 5 июня 2009 г.
Reasons Why Glycerine Really Matters by: Jo Alelsto
Where have you heard of the word glycerine from a song by Bush of the same title or from your chemistry class? Or the term seems familiar but you just cannot pinpoint how or where you have heard of the word? It may be one of those words that we do not understand yet we do not mind looking it up in the dictionary. Now let us see why this pleasant-sounding and sweet-tasting chemical substance is worthy of public recognition. Imagine you have eczema or just dry skin. So you constantly use moisturizing soaps and apply moisturizing lotions. Find time to check the ingredients usually written at the back of these products’ container. More often than not, you will find glycerine or glycerin there. The reason for this is that the substance is a humectant or it attracts moisture to the skin. So unless you just don’t really care about skin care, then the chemical substance does matter. Now if you want your soap to have an extra moisturizing effect then you can make your own soap. You will only need blocks of a pure glycerine soap base and a microwave. You will also need molds, which may come in various shapes, depending on your preference. Another reason why the substance does matter is that it is used in making mouthwashes, unless you do not care about fresh breath. In fact, when the substance is gargled, it can eliminate halitosis or bad breath as it would kill the sulfurous bacteria that live in the mouth. It is also found in toothpaste where it acts as a sweetening agent as well as to keep the paste from drying when its container is left uncapped. Now that cosmetics and toiletries are being mentioned, other products where it is found include lipstick, mascara, pre-shaving creams, and deodorants. It also does matter if you are a cleanliness buff. See those sticky food spilled on your freezer? You can remove them by wiping them off with a rag dabbed with glycerine. You can also use it to remove tar or mustard stain. All you have to do is apply some amount of the substance on the spot and leave it for about an hour. Using paper towels mildly remove the spot and do this using a blot-and-lift motion. Further industries where the chemical substance does matter include: • tobacco industry where it is used as a moistening agent in tobacco products; it is also used to make cigarette filter tips and to add flavor to the chewing tobacco • paper industry where it prevents paper from shrinking while being manufactured • textile industry where it is used to lubricate various kinds of fiber • pharmaceutical industries where it is used to produce drugs like anesthetics, suppositories, cough remedies, ear infection remedies, and capsules. Here are more reasons why it does matter: • it can be composted and used as a fertilizer • it moistens candies, cakes, and other baked goods • it is a component of nitroglycerine, which is used in making dynamite • it is used as a plasticizer in cellophane • it can be used to preserve scientific experiments With all the uses of glycerine mentioned and discussed, you still get to decide if it does matter or not. But whatever your take is, the fact still remains that it does matter to not one but many industries that manufacture products we use every day. It is not just a title of a song or a word entry in the dictionary. It is one chemical substance that hides in the soaps that we use every day and in the baked goodies that we just love to eat.
Where have you heard of the word glycerine from a song by Bush of the same title or from your chemistry class? Or the term seems familiar but you just cannot pinpoint how or where you have heard of the word? It may be one of those words that we do not understand yet we do not mind looking it up in the dictionary. Now let us see why this pleasant-sounding and sweet-tasting chemical substance is worthy of public recognition. Imagine you have eczema or just dry skin. So you constantly use moisturizing soaps and apply moisturizing lotions. Find time to check the ingredients usually written at the back of these products’ container. More often than not, you will find glycerine or glycerin there. The reason for this is that the substance is a humectant or it attracts moisture to the skin. So unless you just don’t really care about skin care, then the chemical substance does matter. Now if you want your soap to have an extra moisturizing effect then you can make your own soap. You will only need blocks of a pure glycerine soap base and a microwave. You will also need molds, which may come in various shapes, depending on your preference. Another reason why the substance does matter is that it is used in making mouthwashes, unless you do not care about fresh breath. In fact, when the substance is gargled, it can eliminate halitosis or bad breath as it would kill the sulfurous bacteria that live in the mouth. It is also found in toothpaste where it acts as a sweetening agent as well as to keep the paste from drying when its container is left uncapped. Now that cosmetics and toiletries are being mentioned, other products where it is found include lipstick, mascara, pre-shaving creams, and deodorants. It also does matter if you are a cleanliness buff. See those sticky food spilled on your freezer? You can remove them by wiping them off with a rag dabbed with glycerine. You can also use it to remove tar or mustard stain. All you have to do is apply some amount of the substance on the spot and leave it for about an hour. Using paper towels mildly remove the spot and do this using a blot-and-lift motion. Further industries where the chemical substance does matter include: • tobacco industry where it is used as a moistening agent in tobacco products; it is also used to make cigarette filter tips and to add flavor to the chewing tobacco • paper industry where it prevents paper from shrinking while being manufactured • textile industry where it is used to lubricate various kinds of fiber • pharmaceutical industries where it is used to produce drugs like anesthetics, suppositories, cough remedies, ear infection remedies, and capsules. Here are more reasons why it does matter: • it can be composted and used as a fertilizer • it moistens candies, cakes, and other baked goods • it is a component of nitroglycerine, which is used in making dynamite • it is used as a plasticizer in cellophane • it can be used to preserve scientific experiments With all the uses of glycerine mentioned and discussed, you still get to decide if it does matter or not. But whatever your take is, the fact still remains that it does matter to not one but many industries that manufacture products we use every day. It is not just a title of a song or a word entry in the dictionary. It is one chemical substance that hides in the soaps that we use every day and in the baked goodies that we just love to eat.
вторник, 2 июня 2009 г.
Mom, After Dad by: Jacquie Bird
My dad passed away March 11, 2008 six days shy of his 73rd birthday. His body wasted away in the final year, his mind gradually retracting from the things he loved. This was a vibrant LARGER THAN LIFE man who was succumbing to the affects of a lifetime of smoking, the lung cancer wrapping like tentacles around his breathing organs, spine and brain. Through this all labored my step-mom, caring for him the best she could as his journey began to veer away from hers, the door to their 40 year union closing. A union starring her alcoholic, abusive, angry husband in the role of dictator-t'was not a picnic growing up in that house. My home was the stage for daily fights, beatings, and yelling. The man didn't want her to live her life, dogging her when she tried to learn the guitar, have a job, wear nice clothes, or have friends. Stay in that box I put you in was the directive, and that fiery, intelligent, go-getting woman did. She stayed through his hell-with-the-world-isms, through his brilliance, through his genius, [because he was all that] through his purgatory, through his crash and burn anger charring EVERYTHING in its wake, through his infectious laugh and magnetic charm, through his lighting fast wit; Ma played her role as the dutiful wife and partner for two thirds of her life, dulling her dreams and aspirations in deferment to his. Once beautiful and smooth of skin, scowls replaced smiles as she formed a bitter brittle shell in which to exist. If living with daddy wasn't stress enough, add to the mix the many years I blamed her for much in my upbringing. We were mortal enemies for 20+ years, each wielding hexes of anger, misunderstanding, & high handed judgments. Eventually growing weary of our battle, we made way to each other with much patience, honesty, empathy and compassion-I think we surprised ourselves with the great friendship that has grown out of the ashes. [This was well before we knew daddy was ailing]. When I finally saw her I gasped inwardly, very dark circles were under her eyes and the robust Native American tresses gave way to large bald spots. The once foxy body had thickened with the weight of the Unhappy while her fluid speech pattern had become halting, [not quite a stutter but close] the rush of words stampeding over each other, making you gasp for air as you hunkered down for the onslaught. The razor-sharp tongue that could cut your head off was now cutting itself. As daddy's illness set deeper, Ma's energy was draining as she took care of him. I tried to prepare her for what I knew was coming by issuing lectures on preparedness and how she needed to give thought to re-entering the work-force. She needed to acquaint herself with technology, particularly the computer. So one day I marched over there armed with an old laptop ready to give lessons. But she wasn't feelin' it. So it sat packed up for a year. She was scared to touch it. One day, I'm over at my folks' & asked Ma, NOT dad ['cause I knew what he'd say] if she wanted an answering machine. She hesitated, which gave my dad enough time to bark "WE do not want an answering machine! If someone calls and we don't pick up, I don't want to know who calls anyway. If they really want to talk to us, they'll call back! Now remember, I asked HER, not him. By this point, he was sleeping most of the day and night so what was it to him? But since this was another stitch in the fabric of their relationship, I as part of that fabric annoyingly acquiesced to his directive to save her any harassment after I left. But not long after his passing, I again bring up the idea but could barely get the question out of my mouth before "YES!!" leaped from hers. When I unveiled her introduction to technology I was too tickled to see this stern woman's child-like glee when the machine lit up. And oh man, when it talked? HEAVEN. She couldn't WAIT to tell me she got her first message! Today I am so very proud of her. She dove into the deepest depths of despair, grief, loneliness and fear. "What am I going to do?" she implored of the heavens, "I am a 67 year old woman with no skills, and very little work history. I am close to destitute [daddy left nothing] and my life has passed me by. I feel like my mental capacity is at a deficit, oh how I have wasted my life, my best years are gone!" In the early days and months, not a phone conversation or visit went by without her breaking down into sobs. I tried to remind her that the invincible, foxy, self-assured woman I remember meeting all those years ago was still there and that she just needed to reach out to that gal inside. It became my mantra to her. Then, into all that darkness, an angel came to her in the guise of a social worker [who wasn't even assigned to her!] who became her champion, working tirelessly on her behalf, steering her through the tsunami of bloody red tape. She got Ma into a program providing her with a part time job with access to computer classes and other great opportunities to help get seniors on their feet. Slowly this battered, beat down soul began to shine! Now she's making new friends, trying new things, is beginning to slim down and lookin' suave. SHE'S GETTING HER MOJO BACK! Girlfriend participates in Tai Chi and yoga classes at her part time gig. She's working on her typing on that old laptop-she wanted to know how much a new one cost! It is so good to see her smiling and laughing as she figures out what SHE likes. Ma is beginning to enjoy her life. I've heard that people generally stop learning and/or trying new things once they hit their 30's. Not my mom, she's reaching out with everything she's got, trying new food and oh my goodness, I got her a cell phone! Oh boy. "Ma, you have to remember to take it with you," "Ma, you have to remember to turn it on," "Ma, you have to put it where you can HEAR it!" "Ma, Ma, MA..." Teaching her to text? OH GEES! That was pretty much a futile endeavor until one day I was in Paris checking my text messages and there was one from her! It said: "got your text, writing this, NOW HOW DO I SEND IT?" Boy I can't believe she didn't hear me howling from across the Atlantic.
My dad passed away March 11, 2008 six days shy of his 73rd birthday. His body wasted away in the final year, his mind gradually retracting from the things he loved. This was a vibrant LARGER THAN LIFE man who was succumbing to the affects of a lifetime of smoking, the lung cancer wrapping like tentacles around his breathing organs, spine and brain. Through this all labored my step-mom, caring for him the best she could as his journey began to veer away from hers, the door to their 40 year union closing. A union starring her alcoholic, abusive, angry husband in the role of dictator-t'was not a picnic growing up in that house. My home was the stage for daily fights, beatings, and yelling. The man didn't want her to live her life, dogging her when she tried to learn the guitar, have a job, wear nice clothes, or have friends. Stay in that box I put you in was the directive, and that fiery, intelligent, go-getting woman did. She stayed through his hell-with-the-world-isms, through his brilliance, through his genius, [because he was all that] through his purgatory, through his crash and burn anger charring EVERYTHING in its wake, through his infectious laugh and magnetic charm, through his lighting fast wit; Ma played her role as the dutiful wife and partner for two thirds of her life, dulling her dreams and aspirations in deferment to his. Once beautiful and smooth of skin, scowls replaced smiles as she formed a bitter brittle shell in which to exist. If living with daddy wasn't stress enough, add to the mix the many years I blamed her for much in my upbringing. We were mortal enemies for 20+ years, each wielding hexes of anger, misunderstanding, & high handed judgments. Eventually growing weary of our battle, we made way to each other with much patience, honesty, empathy and compassion-I think we surprised ourselves with the great friendship that has grown out of the ashes. [This was well before we knew daddy was ailing]. When I finally saw her I gasped inwardly, very dark circles were under her eyes and the robust Native American tresses gave way to large bald spots. The once foxy body had thickened with the weight of the Unhappy while her fluid speech pattern had become halting, [not quite a stutter but close] the rush of words stampeding over each other, making you gasp for air as you hunkered down for the onslaught. The razor-sharp tongue that could cut your head off was now cutting itself. As daddy's illness set deeper, Ma's energy was draining as she took care of him. I tried to prepare her for what I knew was coming by issuing lectures on preparedness and how she needed to give thought to re-entering the work-force. She needed to acquaint herself with technology, particularly the computer. So one day I marched over there armed with an old laptop ready to give lessons. But she wasn't feelin' it. So it sat packed up for a year. She was scared to touch it. One day, I'm over at my folks' & asked Ma, NOT dad ['cause I knew what he'd say] if she wanted an answering machine. She hesitated, which gave my dad enough time to bark "WE do not want an answering machine! If someone calls and we don't pick up, I don't want to know who calls anyway. If they really want to talk to us, they'll call back! Now remember, I asked HER, not him. By this point, he was sleeping most of the day and night so what was it to him? But since this was another stitch in the fabric of their relationship, I as part of that fabric annoyingly acquiesced to his directive to save her any harassment after I left. But not long after his passing, I again bring up the idea but could barely get the question out of my mouth before "YES!!" leaped from hers. When I unveiled her introduction to technology I was too tickled to see this stern woman's child-like glee when the machine lit up. And oh man, when it talked? HEAVEN. She couldn't WAIT to tell me she got her first message! Today I am so very proud of her. She dove into the deepest depths of despair, grief, loneliness and fear. "What am I going to do?" she implored of the heavens, "I am a 67 year old woman with no skills, and very little work history. I am close to destitute [daddy left nothing] and my life has passed me by. I feel like my mental capacity is at a deficit, oh how I have wasted my life, my best years are gone!" In the early days and months, not a phone conversation or visit went by without her breaking down into sobs. I tried to remind her that the invincible, foxy, self-assured woman I remember meeting all those years ago was still there and that she just needed to reach out to that gal inside. It became my mantra to her. Then, into all that darkness, an angel came to her in the guise of a social worker [who wasn't even assigned to her!] who became her champion, working tirelessly on her behalf, steering her through the tsunami of bloody red tape. She got Ma into a program providing her with a part time job with access to computer classes and other great opportunities to help get seniors on their feet. Slowly this battered, beat down soul began to shine! Now she's making new friends, trying new things, is beginning to slim down and lookin' suave. SHE'S GETTING HER MOJO BACK! Girlfriend participates in Tai Chi and yoga classes at her part time gig. She's working on her typing on that old laptop-she wanted to know how much a new one cost! It is so good to see her smiling and laughing as she figures out what SHE likes. Ma is beginning to enjoy her life. I've heard that people generally stop learning and/or trying new things once they hit their 30's. Not my mom, she's reaching out with everything she's got, trying new food and oh my goodness, I got her a cell phone! Oh boy. "Ma, you have to remember to take it with you," "Ma, you have to remember to turn it on," "Ma, you have to put it where you can HEAR it!" "Ma, Ma, MA..." Teaching her to text? OH GEES! That was pretty much a futile endeavor until one day I was in Paris checking my text messages and there was one from her! It said: "got your text, writing this, NOW HOW DO I SEND IT?" Boy I can't believe she didn't hear me howling from across the Atlantic.
понедельник, 1 июня 2009 г.
The new Austin wine bar scene by: Joe Cline
Austin will never be the same with its upswing economy. Young professionals and businessmen work hard during the day and expect to even play harder during the evening. The night life is evolving to suit these changing crowd and the shifting tastes. This saw the rise of wine bars, some of which have been around the block longer, while others are newer hipper upstarts and alternative watering spots. The warehouse district, popular for its classy bars and bistros, has seen the emergence of newer wine bars that cater to both the younger and the older sets. The trend is spilling to outside the downtown area even. From Hyde Park and North Austin’s domain, and down south, Austin is seeing the sprouting of these wine bars. Amongst them is another star, the Grove Wine Bar and Kitchen. Good food and great drinks at the Grove Wine Bar The Grove Wine Bar ambience draws regulars and new habitués to its cozy interior, its seating areas and raised deck overhung by the branches of a massive tree. The relaxing atmosphere is complemented by the menu entrees and the wine list. Good food, great drinks, wonderful ambience, all these combine to make the Grove Wine Bar a local favorite. Try the chef’s bruschetta with your favorite table wine and choice of mozzarella and tomato or garlic and basil. To whet your appetite, the sampler platter features cheese and meat and fruit. Salads and pizzas and pasta are great there, complete with old favorites and exotic ingredients. While you can easily forget the lateness of the hour during evenings at the Grove, daytime offerings are equally enticing and engrossing. For a quick lunch or light dinner, imagine the likes of sesame-crusted tuna, venison chili, proscuitto on your fettuccini, and the different pizza flavors, too. Wash them down with any choice of the Grove’s wine stock and it’ll be a great treat for you and your friends. Rave reviews of the bar abound, although many sort of complain because the Grove has earned a regular following already that it’s sometimes hard to get a space there. But that just goes to show how patrons keep coming back for the good food, the good wine, the great affordable price. Get in the groove at the Grove Wine Bar The Grove Wine Bar is located at 6317 Bee Caves in Austin. They’re open from 11 in the morning to eleven at night on Fridays and Saturdays, and from 11 in the morning to 10 in the evening the rest of the week. Bring your friends or the whole family, including your dear pets as they are accommodated in the outdoor decks. Come early so you get to be seated easily and get to choose your perfect spot, whether indoors, or on the deck. The Grove Wine Bar is just one of the great dining and watering spots in Austin for singles, couples, families. Whether you are a wine or beer drinker, a salad or pasta connoisseur, the Grove may just have the right one for your discerning palate.
Austin will never be the same with its upswing economy. Young professionals and businessmen work hard during the day and expect to even play harder during the evening. The night life is evolving to suit these changing crowd and the shifting tastes. This saw the rise of wine bars, some of which have been around the block longer, while others are newer hipper upstarts and alternative watering spots. The warehouse district, popular for its classy bars and bistros, has seen the emergence of newer wine bars that cater to both the younger and the older sets. The trend is spilling to outside the downtown area even. From Hyde Park and North Austin’s domain, and down south, Austin is seeing the sprouting of these wine bars. Amongst them is another star, the Grove Wine Bar and Kitchen. Good food and great drinks at the Grove Wine Bar The Grove Wine Bar ambience draws regulars and new habitués to its cozy interior, its seating areas and raised deck overhung by the branches of a massive tree. The relaxing atmosphere is complemented by the menu entrees and the wine list. Good food, great drinks, wonderful ambience, all these combine to make the Grove Wine Bar a local favorite. Try the chef’s bruschetta with your favorite table wine and choice of mozzarella and tomato or garlic and basil. To whet your appetite, the sampler platter features cheese and meat and fruit. Salads and pizzas and pasta are great there, complete with old favorites and exotic ingredients. While you can easily forget the lateness of the hour during evenings at the Grove, daytime offerings are equally enticing and engrossing. For a quick lunch or light dinner, imagine the likes of sesame-crusted tuna, venison chili, proscuitto on your fettuccini, and the different pizza flavors, too. Wash them down with any choice of the Grove’s wine stock and it’ll be a great treat for you and your friends. Rave reviews of the bar abound, although many sort of complain because the Grove has earned a regular following already that it’s sometimes hard to get a space there. But that just goes to show how patrons keep coming back for the good food, the good wine, the great affordable price. Get in the groove at the Grove Wine Bar The Grove Wine Bar is located at 6317 Bee Caves in Austin. They’re open from 11 in the morning to eleven at night on Fridays and Saturdays, and from 11 in the morning to 10 in the evening the rest of the week. Bring your friends or the whole family, including your dear pets as they are accommodated in the outdoor decks. Come early so you get to be seated easily and get to choose your perfect spot, whether indoors, or on the deck. The Grove Wine Bar is just one of the great dining and watering spots in Austin for singles, couples, families. Whether you are a wine or beer drinker, a salad or pasta connoisseur, the Grove may just have the right one for your discerning palate.
четверг, 28 мая 2009 г.
Stealing and Rebuilding Amy Winehouse's Rubbish, by Vice Magazine
by: Jamie Taete
Ok, I know stealing Amy Winehouse's garbage was a cheap shot. But obvious jokes are obvious jokes for a reason; when something is so obviously funny and retarded that every single person in the world is making fun of it, then you know you're onto a winner. That's why farting is still funny. The real challenge was finding her house. I tried googling a bunch of stuff, but had no luck. So I resorted to next-level CSI tactics. Me and my housemate spent hours scanning every YouTube video and paparazzi photo we could find of Amy Winehouse either in or around her house. After a while we got a pretty good idea of what the area she lived in looked like and were able to sketch a (really really really inaccurate) map. And before anyone points it out in the comments section, I now know that I could have just looked at any article about her (ex?) husband's trial to find out her address. Or done a search for "Amy Winehouse" on Google Maps. But w/eves. I knew she was away when we went to her house because I'd seen pictures of her looking healthy (ie: like Jewish Gollum) in the paper. I figured her bins would be locked inside because she's such an obvious target, but we lucked out and there was a yellow wheelie bin with two full bags inside. When we were sure no one was looking, we picked them both up and ran to a little park near her house. The first bag which had been really really heavy, turned out to be full of cat litter. So joke's on me I guess; if l will insist on living in the gutter, then eventually I'm going to get covered in cat turd. The second bag was full of shards of broken glass which, after a little inspection turned out to be a goldfish bowl. So, surprisingly, Winehouse had dull trash. I guess I could try and work on some theory about her breaking the bowl in some drug-induced rampage (and maybe link the cat litter to her no-longer being able to use a toilet) but I think what probably happened is that whoever was looking after her cat broke her goldfish bowl. We ditched the cat shit and took the glass home. Then we started the long and tiresome mission to reconstruct the bowl. After super-gluing my hands, the bowl, and a cup of coffee to my kitchen table, me and some friends managed to reassemble it. Good as new! I was going to hold onto it until she got back from St Lucia, but I heard rumours she's moving there for good and then I felt a little pity toward her after seeing that whole thing about how she got robbed and really, I'm just sick of looking at the fucking thing. So I took it back last night. I even wrapped it up nice and attached a little note. When got there, I could tell someone was home because I could see them moving around through the blinds. I rang the buzzer, but no one answered. So I just left the box on the doorstep. After waiting around a corner for a couple of minutes, I went back to see if it was still there, but it had vanished. So I guess it's in the hands of Amy's people now. Either that or the hands of someone who saw a box marked 'Ms A. Winehouse' in the street and stole it. Actually, thinking about it, I kind of hope her people don't have it, because, by returning something to her house that was there when she left (and putting my full name on the note that accompanied it) I may have accidentally framed myself in the robbery of chateau Winehouse.
by: Jamie Taete
Ok, I know stealing Amy Winehouse's garbage was a cheap shot. But obvious jokes are obvious jokes for a reason; when something is so obviously funny and retarded that every single person in the world is making fun of it, then you know you're onto a winner. That's why farting is still funny. The real challenge was finding her house. I tried googling a bunch of stuff, but had no luck. So I resorted to next-level CSI tactics. Me and my housemate spent hours scanning every YouTube video and paparazzi photo we could find of Amy Winehouse either in or around her house. After a while we got a pretty good idea of what the area she lived in looked like and were able to sketch a (really really really inaccurate) map. And before anyone points it out in the comments section, I now know that I could have just looked at any article about her (ex?) husband's trial to find out her address. Or done a search for "Amy Winehouse" on Google Maps. But w/eves. I knew she was away when we went to her house because I'd seen pictures of her looking healthy (ie: like Jewish Gollum) in the paper. I figured her bins would be locked inside because she's such an obvious target, but we lucked out and there was a yellow wheelie bin with two full bags inside. When we were sure no one was looking, we picked them both up and ran to a little park near her house. The first bag which had been really really heavy, turned out to be full of cat litter. So joke's on me I guess; if l will insist on living in the gutter, then eventually I'm going to get covered in cat turd. The second bag was full of shards of broken glass which, after a little inspection turned out to be a goldfish bowl. So, surprisingly, Winehouse had dull trash. I guess I could try and work on some theory about her breaking the bowl in some drug-induced rampage (and maybe link the cat litter to her no-longer being able to use a toilet) but I think what probably happened is that whoever was looking after her cat broke her goldfish bowl. We ditched the cat shit and took the glass home. Then we started the long and tiresome mission to reconstruct the bowl. After super-gluing my hands, the bowl, and a cup of coffee to my kitchen table, me and some friends managed to reassemble it. Good as new! I was going to hold onto it until she got back from St Lucia, but I heard rumours she's moving there for good and then I felt a little pity toward her after seeing that whole thing about how she got robbed and really, I'm just sick of looking at the fucking thing. So I took it back last night. I even wrapped it up nice and attached a little note. When got there, I could tell someone was home because I could see them moving around through the blinds. I rang the buzzer, but no one answered. So I just left the box on the doorstep. After waiting around a corner for a couple of minutes, I went back to see if it was still there, but it had vanished. So I guess it's in the hands of Amy's people now. Either that or the hands of someone who saw a box marked 'Ms A. Winehouse' in the street and stole it. Actually, thinking about it, I kind of hope her people don't have it, because, by returning something to her house that was there when she left (and putting my full name on the note that accompanied it) I may have accidentally framed myself in the robbery of chateau Winehouse.
среда, 27 мая 2009 г.
Automated Prank Calls using A.I. Technology?
by: Luke Carter
If you're the sort of person who likes to make prank calls and wind people up in general you'll probably be aware of the many prank call sites on the internet, offering a choice of automated phone windups to play anytime. The thing is, like every category of services, picking the best site to run with can sometimes be a challenge. Obviously, the best prank calls are the most convincing, and to achieve convincing prank calls you will need to make sure the prank call service itself is the real deal. After all, the fun is in reeling someone in and humiliating them at the end right? But you won't find out if you're "victim" hangs up! You would have just wasted you're money for nothing. So how can you make sure you're getting the best? There are 2 main types of automated prank calls service. One is a simple recorded prank call system which plays a recording to your victim hoping that it will achieve a response, but in reality is not credible at all and usually gets picked up on right away. Not much use. The other uses Artificial Intelligence technology to actually interact with what your victim says just like a normal conversation. The system also "knows" when to take breaks and let them speak and when to ask different questions depending on their reaction. This is the type you want. This type of service also allows you to listen in secretly to your victim's reaction and they won't be able to hear you laugh out loud! Prank Call Services that use this A.I. technology usually offer a much higher standard & wider range of prank calls to choose from, using professional voice actors to produce them. When it comes to choosing a Prank Call Site, make sure you only use the best. After all, it's no fun when the person you are calling hangs up the phone after a few seconds is it?
воскресенье, 24 мая 2009 г.
Are Prank Calls Legal in the UK & Ireland?
by: Luke Carter
That's the question many pranksters are asking, especially given the recent rise in celebrities such as Russell Brand appearing in the media for prank calling offenses. Information on the legality of making prank calls is very confusing, mainly because they are a collection of conflicting views. So let's clear that up... Prank Call Myths: * Prank calls are illegal * You cannot prank call someone at random * Recording a prank call is not allowed Prank calls are perfectly legal as long as you understand the specific boundaries in place and why they are there. The regulations are very simple, but require you do not act in breach of them as you can be reported for various different violations. What's Not Allowed: * Making threats and saying abusive things * Recording a prank call containing personal information and making it public without the consent of the person involved as this violates their data protection rights * Impersonating a person of legal authority, for example a police officer * Prank calls made to emergency services with false information * Repeat calls to the same person may be grounds for malicious calling as it may cause distress In short, prank calls are legal as long as you stick to the basic rules above. Usually the best prank calls consist of winding up someone in order to cause humiliation. These sort of pranks are a lot more satisfying when played on someone you know, as you will be able to hear their reactions and make fun of them for a long time to come! As a telecom provider of prank call services, we are governed by strict laws regarding the content of our prank calls, so we can guarantee that you can have the most fun with the most peace of mind.
by: Luke Carter
That's the question many pranksters are asking, especially given the recent rise in celebrities such as Russell Brand appearing in the media for prank calling offenses. Information on the legality of making prank calls is very confusing, mainly because they are a collection of conflicting views. So let's clear that up... Prank Call Myths: * Prank calls are illegal * You cannot prank call someone at random * Recording a prank call is not allowed Prank calls are perfectly legal as long as you understand the specific boundaries in place and why they are there. The regulations are very simple, but require you do not act in breach of them as you can be reported for various different violations. What's Not Allowed: * Making threats and saying abusive things * Recording a prank call containing personal information and making it public without the consent of the person involved as this violates their data protection rights * Impersonating a person of legal authority, for example a police officer * Prank calls made to emergency services with false information * Repeat calls to the same person may be grounds for malicious calling as it may cause distress In short, prank calls are legal as long as you stick to the basic rules above. Usually the best prank calls consist of winding up someone in order to cause humiliation. These sort of pranks are a lot more satisfying when played on someone you know, as you will be able to hear their reactions and make fun of them for a long time to come! As a telecom provider of prank call services, we are governed by strict laws regarding the content of our prank calls, so we can guarantee that you can have the most fun with the most peace of mind.
суббота, 23 мая 2009 г.
Automated Prank Calls using A.I. Technology?
by: Luke Carter
If you're the sort of person who likes to make prank calls and wind people up in general you'll probably be aware of the many prank call sites on the internet, offering a choice of automated phone windups to play anytime. The thing is, like every category of services, picking the best site to run with can sometimes be a challenge. Obviously, the best prank calls are the most convincing, and to achieve convincing prank calls you will need to make sure the prank call service itself is the real deal. After all, the fun is in reeling someone in and humiliating them at the end right? But you won't find out if you're "victim" hangs up! You would have just wasted you're money for nothing. So how can you make sure you're getting the best? There are 2 main types of automated prank calls service. One is a simple recorded prank call system which plays a recording to your victim hoping that it will achieve a response, but in reality is not credible at all and usually gets picked up on right away. Not much use. The other uses Artificial Intelligence technology to actually interact with what your victim says just like a normal conversation. The system also "knows" when to take breaks and let them speak and when to ask different questions depending on their reaction. This is the type you want. This type of service also allows you to listen in secretly to your victim's reaction and they won't be able to hear you laugh out loud! Prank Call Services that use this A.I. technology usually offer a much higher standard & wider range of prank calls to choose from, using professional voice actors to produce them. When it comes to choosing a Prank Call Site, make sure you only use the best. After all, it's no fun when the person you are calling hangs up the phone after a few seconds is it?
by: Luke Carter
If you're the sort of person who likes to make prank calls and wind people up in general you'll probably be aware of the many prank call sites on the internet, offering a choice of automated phone windups to play anytime. The thing is, like every category of services, picking the best site to run with can sometimes be a challenge. Obviously, the best prank calls are the most convincing, and to achieve convincing prank calls you will need to make sure the prank call service itself is the real deal. After all, the fun is in reeling someone in and humiliating them at the end right? But you won't find out if you're "victim" hangs up! You would have just wasted you're money for nothing. So how can you make sure you're getting the best? There are 2 main types of automated prank calls service. One is a simple recorded prank call system which plays a recording to your victim hoping that it will achieve a response, but in reality is not credible at all and usually gets picked up on right away. Not much use. The other uses Artificial Intelligence technology to actually interact with what your victim says just like a normal conversation. The system also "knows" when to take breaks and let them speak and when to ask different questions depending on their reaction. This is the type you want. This type of service also allows you to listen in secretly to your victim's reaction and they won't be able to hear you laugh out loud! Prank Call Services that use this A.I. technology usually offer a much higher standard & wider range of prank calls to choose from, using professional voice actors to produce them. When it comes to choosing a Prank Call Site, make sure you only use the best. After all, it's no fun when the person you are calling hangs up the phone after a few seconds is it?
пятница, 22 мая 2009 г.
Prank Call Ideas - 5 Step Formula to Create Hilarious Prank Calls
by: Luke Carter
Prank Calls can be a lot of fun, but not when you're sitting there waiting for a decent idea to spring up. It can get very boring. As you can probably recall, these sort of pranks calls usually end up turning into very unconvincing stories, silly amounts of laughter and the phone being slammed down by the other person more or less straight away, which is no fun. The most convincing and rewarding prank calls arise from keeping your "victim" on the phone for as long as possible, thereby making them believe that every word you are saying is true and generally making them looking like a bit of a buffoon. Prank call masters know what it takes in order to pull the most outrageous pranks off. Read on to find out how you can too using our special formula. Prank Call Examples There are a lot of prank call videos on YouTube, but apart from being fun to watch, they won't help you generate your own prank ideas by themselves, and trying to replicate a prank call seen elsewhere will often sound false. What you need is a formula... A formula is very useful in this situation because it will allow you to plug in your own ideas under the different headings below and come up with something that will go down a treat. A good way to explain how the formula works is to refer to an actual prank call, which we will do below. The Headings Introduction - Introduce Yourself. They say it's important to make a good first impression. Well the same goes for creating a good prank call. You need to captivate your "victim" and make them curious. Saying something out of the blue or random during the first 5 seconds will usually sound the alarms and will either cause them to hang up or get angry and then hang up! The conversation has to be very believable. Watch this video on YouTube to see what I mean (Come back though!) -. The pranksters start by introducing themselves with phony names to add credibility and start the conversation off. Create a situation. Make your "victim" curious and interested in what you are saying. Engage them in easy to understand conversation and listen to their reaction. This allows you to build a topic for the call and also explore their limits aswell. It's really an extension of the introduction. Listen to how the pranksters start talking about the new local school that is about to open... Ask some questions. Asking simple and non private questions work well to get them talking. This is the key foundation work to build up credibility. Only ask questions after you've followed the above introductions, otherwise most people will get paranoid and hang up or act closed, which is not something you want to deal with during a prank call. Remember the goal of the prank is to reel your "victim" in and then eventually humiliate them in some way. See how the pranksters in the video get the man talking with some simple questions and innocent conversation and smoothly make the transition to the actual windup thay have in store. Making the transition. A good way to bridge the gap between innocent conversation and your outrageous line-up is to bring in the element of confusion. If you watched the video you will have heard this transition start at about 2:26. A soon as they react with surprise, it's time to increase the heat and pile on the humiliation. Unleashing the prank. Now that you've reached this stage of the prank call, it's time to have some fun. You can now say outrageous things, ask strange questions and listen to the responses whilst the person still actually believes it's a genuine call. There are many options available from here, but remember, the more convincing, the more you can get away with and the more fun you will have. The best way to prepare for a prank call is to write the headlings down on a piece of paper and use bullet points to act as a quick reference if you get lost.
by: Luke Carter
Prank Calls can be a lot of fun, but not when you're sitting there waiting for a decent idea to spring up. It can get very boring. As you can probably recall, these sort of pranks calls usually end up turning into very unconvincing stories, silly amounts of laughter and the phone being slammed down by the other person more or less straight away, which is no fun. The most convincing and rewarding prank calls arise from keeping your "victim" on the phone for as long as possible, thereby making them believe that every word you are saying is true and generally making them looking like a bit of a buffoon. Prank call masters know what it takes in order to pull the most outrageous pranks off. Read on to find out how you can too using our special formula. Prank Call Examples There are a lot of prank call videos on YouTube, but apart from being fun to watch, they won't help you generate your own prank ideas by themselves, and trying to replicate a prank call seen elsewhere will often sound false. What you need is a formula... A formula is very useful in this situation because it will allow you to plug in your own ideas under the different headings below and come up with something that will go down a treat. A good way to explain how the formula works is to refer to an actual prank call, which we will do below. The Headings Introduction - Introduce Yourself. They say it's important to make a good first impression. Well the same goes for creating a good prank call. You need to captivate your "victim" and make them curious. Saying something out of the blue or random during the first 5 seconds will usually sound the alarms and will either cause them to hang up or get angry and then hang up! The conversation has to be very believable. Watch this video on YouTube to see what I mean (Come back though!) -. The pranksters start by introducing themselves with phony names to add credibility and start the conversation off. Create a situation. Make your "victim" curious and interested in what you are saying. Engage them in easy to understand conversation and listen to their reaction. This allows you to build a topic for the call and also explore their limits aswell. It's really an extension of the introduction. Listen to how the pranksters start talking about the new local school that is about to open... Ask some questions. Asking simple and non private questions work well to get them talking. This is the key foundation work to build up credibility. Only ask questions after you've followed the above introductions, otherwise most people will get paranoid and hang up or act closed, which is not something you want to deal with during a prank call. Remember the goal of the prank is to reel your "victim" in and then eventually humiliate them in some way. See how the pranksters in the video get the man talking with some simple questions and innocent conversation and smoothly make the transition to the actual windup thay have in store. Making the transition. A good way to bridge the gap between innocent conversation and your outrageous line-up is to bring in the element of confusion. If you watched the video you will have heard this transition start at about 2:26. A soon as they react with surprise, it's time to increase the heat and pile on the humiliation. Unleashing the prank. Now that you've reached this stage of the prank call, it's time to have some fun. You can now say outrageous things, ask strange questions and listen to the responses whilst the person still actually believes it's a genuine call. There are many options available from here, but remember, the more convincing, the more you can get away with and the more fun you will have. The best way to prepare for a prank call is to write the headlings down on a piece of paper and use bullet points to act as a quick reference if you get lost.
четверг, 21 мая 2009 г.
Advice to King Dave of the Isle of Man
by: Louis Rosas-Guyon III
To HM King David of the Isle of Mann (or Man), cousin to Queen Elizabeth II, come forth, I, your Not-So-Humble Servant to render such Wisdom as I can… For about ten minutes today, David Howe, a 38 year old businessman from Maryland commanded the front page on FoxNews.Com with the story of his Coronation. In 2006 some Brit genealogist called to tell him that he might have a claim to the throne of the Isle of Mann (or Man). So, he filled out the right forms and sent them to Her Majesty's Stationary Office which after a 90 day review period approved his Royal application. Apparently they sent him a crown, a royal robe and a spoon. Some Kings get swords, others get scepters, but David gets a spoon. My favorite part of the story is the reaction from the people of the Isle of Man, which I think can best be summed up as: "Who?" The elected government of the Isle of Man is probably still laughing themselves senseless. They are so disrespectful of their new King that the official government website has no mention of his coronation. Well King David, it looks like you'll need to stage an invasion to enforce Your Royal Rights. I recommend you look into some the old laws on how to execute traitors. That's how you get medieval on their butts. The best part about this story is that HM (that's His Majesty, to you) King David has a lovely website. On his home page under an enormous picture of him, he details his efforts to provide aide for the poor AIDS afflicted children of Insert African Nation Here. Even Americans know you cannot be a Royal unless you have some charity to support. Especially useful are those charities that show you pictures of starving children. Those work best of all. Good choice there, Your Majesty. You hit that nail right on the head. But if you do a little digging into the Royal website you find his Royal Pedigree. You know, like they do with dogs. Not only does he include his family tree proving his Royal Title, but he also proves that he is a cousin to the Royal Family of Great Britain. Wow, he's cousins with the Queen! Let's get something straight; I'm no genealogist but it seems to me when you cast such an enormous net (like the Cousin's Net), you are probably also related to Cher, Bill Clinton and Dick Cheney. I recommend that you lose the whole Cousins thing. Let's agree that you are only allowed to be a Royal Cousin if they invite you over for tea. Also, if you take the time to look at his Pedigree you may notice that he has achieved his gentle rank through marriage. Now, that is perfectly legitimate. But, does that mean he's Royal by insertion? If so, then good job King David! I always heard you were supposed to pull your Sword out of the stone. It just goes to show that you cannot trust legends. But it might damage your macho image, so I would dump that webpage too. Now, there's the matter of Royal Revenue. Until you conquer your island you can't collect taxes. But I have solved that for you! Just sell Knighthoods! There are tons of obnoxious idiots who would pay dearly for a title. I would add a web store and sell them that way. Between the money you can make from titles and the cash that will come in from your charity, you should have a pretty nice war chest. To invade, you will need an army. And let's face it, no regular mercenary army will do. You need to show your subjects that you mean business and will not tolerate anything but total loyalty. For that mission, I can only recommend Blackwater. It might take up some of the money for the African kids, but you can always pay them back later. Anyway, I hope you look charitably on Your Servant for his Words of Wisdom and that Your Majesty remembers to send me money when you use any of these ideas.
by: Louis Rosas-Guyon III
To HM King David of the Isle of Mann (or Man), cousin to Queen Elizabeth II, come forth, I, your Not-So-Humble Servant to render such Wisdom as I can… For about ten minutes today, David Howe, a 38 year old businessman from Maryland commanded the front page on FoxNews.Com with the story of his Coronation. In 2006 some Brit genealogist called to tell him that he might have a claim to the throne of the Isle of Mann (or Man). So, he filled out the right forms and sent them to Her Majesty's Stationary Office which after a 90 day review period approved his Royal application. Apparently they sent him a crown, a royal robe and a spoon. Some Kings get swords, others get scepters, but David gets a spoon. My favorite part of the story is the reaction from the people of the Isle of Man, which I think can best be summed up as: "Who?" The elected government of the Isle of Man is probably still laughing themselves senseless. They are so disrespectful of their new King that the official government website has no mention of his coronation. Well King David, it looks like you'll need to stage an invasion to enforce Your Royal Rights. I recommend you look into some the old laws on how to execute traitors. That's how you get medieval on their butts. The best part about this story is that HM (that's His Majesty, to you) King David has a lovely website. On his home page under an enormous picture of him, he details his efforts to provide aide for the poor AIDS afflicted children of Insert African Nation Here. Even Americans know you cannot be a Royal unless you have some charity to support. Especially useful are those charities that show you pictures of starving children. Those work best of all. Good choice there, Your Majesty. You hit that nail right on the head. But if you do a little digging into the Royal website you find his Royal Pedigree. You know, like they do with dogs. Not only does he include his family tree proving his Royal Title, but he also proves that he is a cousin to the Royal Family of Great Britain. Wow, he's cousins with the Queen! Let's get something straight; I'm no genealogist but it seems to me when you cast such an enormous net (like the Cousin's Net), you are probably also related to Cher, Bill Clinton and Dick Cheney. I recommend that you lose the whole Cousins thing. Let's agree that you are only allowed to be a Royal Cousin if they invite you over for tea. Also, if you take the time to look at his Pedigree you may notice that he has achieved his gentle rank through marriage. Now, that is perfectly legitimate. But, does that mean he's Royal by insertion? If so, then good job King David! I always heard you were supposed to pull your Sword out of the stone. It just goes to show that you cannot trust legends. But it might damage your macho image, so I would dump that webpage too. Now, there's the matter of Royal Revenue. Until you conquer your island you can't collect taxes. But I have solved that for you! Just sell Knighthoods! There are tons of obnoxious idiots who would pay dearly for a title. I would add a web store and sell them that way. Between the money you can make from titles and the cash that will come in from your charity, you should have a pretty nice war chest. To invade, you will need an army. And let's face it, no regular mercenary army will do. You need to show your subjects that you mean business and will not tolerate anything but total loyalty. For that mission, I can only recommend Blackwater. It might take up some of the money for the African kids, but you can always pay them back later. Anyway, I hope you look charitably on Your Servant for his Words of Wisdom and that Your Majesty remembers to send me money when you use any of these ideas.
среда, 20 мая 2009 г.
Goat Jokes & Funny Goats
by: James Pickavance
Humans love hilarious moments. Some crack jokes to make other laugh. Some funny antics of people make others in vicinity to laugh. Many consider animals as funny, hence goats also comes under funny animals. Goats are curious and strange at times. Playful antics of funny goats can make one laugh in a big way. You can watch a great deal of funny goats’ videos on some television channels, youtube, and other online websites. There is numerous jokes related to goats are there in usage. When goats become scared they do certain weird stuffs, and it will look extremely funny to us. Goats feel itchy about their heads. Therefore, they search for anything that can help them in scratching. Do not be amazed, they might scratch their head even to our body. There are many bizarre scratching instances involving the goats. While talking about funny goats, their curiosity makes them hilarious. If you give something say a cap, they will be curious enough to check whether it could eat. Since goats can climb, you might find them in some unusual places out of their curiosity, entangled in mess. Many a time, you will not be able to stop laughing seeing goats kicking down kids and elders. Do not make goats to chase you; you might end up in a funny brawl. In one sense, the fainting goats are termed as the funny goats. It is because if they are startled or excited their muscles stiffen and hence they faint down. After a few minutes you will find them, jumping and running as if nothing happened. It is quite a funny scene to see a group of fainting goats fainting down together, by deliberately exciting them. The scenery of goats fainting sometimes looks funny though it is painful for them. What do you call a royal goat wearing denim? Billy Jean King. What do you call a goat with a beard? It is goatee! Why is it hard to carryon a conversation with a goat? Because they are always butting in. What do you call a goat that lip-syncs? Billy Vanilli. What do you call a goat at sea? Billy Ocean. What do you call a goat on a mountain? Hillbilly. Who did the goats vote for as president? Billy Clinton. What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university? Billy Dean. What do you call an unemployed goat? Billy Idol. These are some of the popular funny goat jokes. Kids are quite fond of funny goats and they enjoy playing with them. Kids tease the goats and make them do some silly things. There are some funny goat cartoon characters. Many companies use the images of funny goats in their merchandises. What a smart way to lure customers, right! People involved in goat care come across numerous goat jokes as well as funny goats. Goat care becomes enjoyable when the person giving care and the goat enjoys each other’s company. Goats are so affectionate and playful. Hence, there will be some hilarious moments all the way.
by: James Pickavance
Humans love hilarious moments. Some crack jokes to make other laugh. Some funny antics of people make others in vicinity to laugh. Many consider animals as funny, hence goats also comes under funny animals. Goats are curious and strange at times. Playful antics of funny goats can make one laugh in a big way. You can watch a great deal of funny goats’ videos on some television channels, youtube, and other online websites. There is numerous jokes related to goats are there in usage. When goats become scared they do certain weird stuffs, and it will look extremely funny to us. Goats feel itchy about their heads. Therefore, they search for anything that can help them in scratching. Do not be amazed, they might scratch their head even to our body. There are many bizarre scratching instances involving the goats. While talking about funny goats, their curiosity makes them hilarious. If you give something say a cap, they will be curious enough to check whether it could eat. Since goats can climb, you might find them in some unusual places out of their curiosity, entangled in mess. Many a time, you will not be able to stop laughing seeing goats kicking down kids and elders. Do not make goats to chase you; you might end up in a funny brawl. In one sense, the fainting goats are termed as the funny goats. It is because if they are startled or excited their muscles stiffen and hence they faint down. After a few minutes you will find them, jumping and running as if nothing happened. It is quite a funny scene to see a group of fainting goats fainting down together, by deliberately exciting them. The scenery of goats fainting sometimes looks funny though it is painful for them. What do you call a royal goat wearing denim? Billy Jean King. What do you call a goat with a beard? It is goatee! Why is it hard to carryon a conversation with a goat? Because they are always butting in. What do you call a goat that lip-syncs? Billy Vanilli. What do you call a goat at sea? Billy Ocean. What do you call a goat on a mountain? Hillbilly. Who did the goats vote for as president? Billy Clinton. What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university? Billy Dean. What do you call an unemployed goat? Billy Idol. These are some of the popular funny goat jokes. Kids are quite fond of funny goats and they enjoy playing with them. Kids tease the goats and make them do some silly things. There are some funny goat cartoon characters. Many companies use the images of funny goats in their merchandises. What a smart way to lure customers, right! People involved in goat care come across numerous goat jokes as well as funny goats. Goat care becomes enjoyable when the person giving care and the goat enjoys each other’s company. Goats are so affectionate and playful. Hence, there will be some hilarious moments all the way.
People in Your Office are Morons!
by: Jason Myers
Every day in every office, someone is misunderstood. It’s the consummate struggle in every office…communication. Could it be that communication is such a challenge because secretly we want to be misunderstood? Could it be that we survive in the workplace by being cryptic and intentionally misunderstood? Maybe if people understood what we really meant, they wouldn’t like it very much. To break it down to the root of the communication issue, clearly a mismatch exists between what is said in the workplace and what is really meant. Perhaps, it’s because we are all programmed to be “politically correct”. Perhaps we are trying to cover-up our own inadequacies. Perhaps, it’s because we are programmed to “put lipstick on the pig”. Perhaps, we just relish the fun of trying to keep everyone around us guessing. Let’s take a look at how the office functions today. We stroll around exchanging pleasantries with co-workers, bosses and the people we manage. We exchange thoughts, in private, during one-on-one conversations with our co-workers. We sit in meetings of endless conversation, as we strive to understand what is being said. We filter through piles and piles of emails with conversation chains a mile long. We endure performance reviews where our boss gives us their always valuable input and assessment. Have you ever had a pleasant conversation with someone at the office and walked away feeling as if you might have been missing something? The look on their face, the tone of their voice – did they just insult you with pleasant conversation? After all, the slightest change in the tone of your voice can deliver a swift slap across the face with a simple “hello!” Like a meticulously choreographed dance, most conversations in the office take place in our thoughts, not our spoken words. So we decided to take a look at real conversations to find the real meanings. Let's face it, based on the conversations you have everyday at the office - the people you work with are morons.
Every day in every office, someone is misunderstood. It’s the consummate struggle in every office…communication. Could it be that communication is such a challenge because secretly we want to be misunderstood? Could it be that we survive in the workplace by being cryptic and intentionally misunderstood? Maybe if people understood what we really meant, they wouldn’t like it very much. To break it down to the root of the communication issue, clearly a mismatch exists between what is said in the workplace and what is really meant. Perhaps, it’s because we are all programmed to be “politically correct”. Perhaps we are trying to cover-up our own inadequacies. Perhaps, it’s because we are programmed to “put lipstick on the pig”. Perhaps, we just relish the fun of trying to keep everyone around us guessing. Let’s take a look at how the office functions today. We stroll around exchanging pleasantries with co-workers, bosses and the people we manage. We exchange thoughts, in private, during one-on-one conversations with our co-workers. We sit in meetings of endless conversation, as we strive to understand what is being said. We filter through piles and piles of emails with conversation chains a mile long. We endure performance reviews where our boss gives us their always valuable input and assessment. Have you ever had a pleasant conversation with someone at the office and walked away feeling as if you might have been missing something? The look on their face, the tone of their voice – did they just insult you with pleasant conversation? After all, the slightest change in the tone of your voice can deliver a swift slap across the face with a simple “hello!” Like a meticulously choreographed dance, most conversations in the office take place in our thoughts, not our spoken words. So we decided to take a look at real conversations to find the real meanings. Let's face it, based on the conversations you have everyday at the office - the people you work with are morons.
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